When a burger isn't just a burger ....

**Mic Check** Hello …. Hello ….is this thing on ? Anyone there ? Yes … no … maybe so ? Okay ….

**Clears throat**

       Ann’s Snack Bar is THE BEST burger I’ve ever had. In my life. Period. I apologize in advance to my ex-husband and Five Guys, who up to this point, could share that claim. I’m sure neither one care but you should care. Why? Because Ms. Ann’s Snack Bar is like THE BEST burger anywhere. Period. Ever. Y’all can go home now. This story is done.

      Fuck…. seriously? You’re going to make me write out a whole review when I already told you they’re damn near perfect?! Fine. Whatever…. here….

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         So, Elliott & I were granted a short reprieve from adult prison one afternoon (I’m sorry, my boss says I have to stop referring to work at adult prison…so we were let out of work early). I figured we should take the rare opportunity to sneak away and spend some “us” time and simultaneously check out one of the spots on my list. I checked the clock and realized this may be my one and only time to try out Ann’s without committing to a half day in a parking lot waiting for the promised life-changing burger. Onward I-75, 285, & 20 ……. Within minutes we were parking outside the seemingly innocuous establishment known as Ann’s Snack Shack. I was told it was a humble establishment, I was told not to expect much …. So I wasn’t put off by the peeling paint or the screen windows. Whatever, I was home. This was my auntie’s house up in the country and we were stopping by for lunch. Nothing could deter me.

           We were met by a counter attendant in the parking lot…who kindly informed up that it’s cash only but we could use the ATM next door or the one just up the street. We quickly scooted to the gas station and came back with our 20’s in hand. When you enter the first door …. You step into a large, almost “patio room” style area. There are tables and a variety of chairs…. not unlike what you’d see at a family reunion because ain’t nobody got time to go out and buy a bunch of matching chairs. Nobody cares about the chairs…you’re there to see family. Well, we’re there to see a burger. You go up the steps and you enter a small establishment complete w. a cashier in the center and a counter to each side. Each counter is lined with four chairs, and on any given weekend…. There are butts in all those chairs. Today, we were lucky. There were only 3 butts.

          A tall, older gentleman stood behind the counter…. Smiled and asked us what we’d have. Elliott is a grade-A spoil sport. He orders the regular double-hamburger with bacon. Due to my need for research (and delicious food) …. I ordered the ghetto burger. The ghetto burger is a double cheeseburger w. all the trimmings, bacon, and chili. I should’ve asked for slaw but I’ll tell you why later. They DO have a ghetto burger without chili but that’s called a hood burger Another story for another time.  So … we’re sitting and observing. There is a man in front of us hand chopping coleslaw bit by bit. No prebagged cabbage here. The lady at the griddle is loading it with handfuls of beef for burgers on top of mountains of grilled onions, chili is simmering on the stove…. life is just good. The french fries go into one of two baskets… I’m pretty positive they use the double fry method to achieve the perfectly crispy fries that we were served. It’s heavenly. Downright heavenly. Let me stop a moment here because I want you to understand the gravity of the point I’m about to make. Sit up, turn off your headphones and listen ….

Every. Bun. Is. toasted. To. Order.

         Do you understand that? Every bun is toasted when it’s destination burger is done cooking. You don’t get a cold bun or a hard bun with a crust … no, you get a warm, soft, toasted bun that shows just how much someone loves you. Ya mama may not have toasted buns but this is auntie’s house and she knows you’ve been a good boy and she loves you …so everyone gets a freshly toasted bun.

        Okay …. So …. Elliott’s burger arrived …. And then the epitome of burger greatness, the ghetto burger … was placed in front of me. I couldn’t speak. It was beautiful. It was huge … magnificent …juicy…. This burger was life! I stopped to marvel and figure out just how I was going to tackle this culinary counter attack … this behemoth of beef …. I didn’t know what to do, could I handle it

 

  I cut it in half … took a deep breath …. raised it to my mouth and …. took a bit. I’ve had burgers all over … I’ve had award winning burgers, big business burgers …. I’ve had backyard barbecue burgers ….and nothing compares to the flavor of this burger. It’s double patties, cheese, bacon…covered in the homemade chili simmering on the stove….and fresh cut vegetables. I was in hamburger heaven. Elliott’s “basic” bacon burger was anything but basic in flavor. Ann’s doesn’t come w. special seasoning or magic dust… but that’s because it doesn’t need it. Plain and simple …. It doesn’t need it. You don’t eat a hamburger for special magic … you eat it because you want delicious, hot, juicy beef…and Ann’s delivers.  We sat in blissful silence…. Save the mmmm’s and “oh my god this is good…” …willing ourselves past the warnings of our tightening waistbands and bellies …until it was all gone.

As we ate, the tiny like shack begin to quickly fill up with people bustling for a chance at their own delicious burger. The patio slowly filled as the crowd poured from the main area. We finished up and waved to the staff as we exited … full, happy, and thoroughly enraptured with the wonder that is Ann’s Snack Shack. Trust me … you have to try this place at least once.

Best advice I’ve gleaned from talking to others …. Go during off peak hours, observe the rules, and bring cash (no cards). Enjoy !